Share a Magical Moment of Meaning With Your Kid

I was listening to a lecture of a Finnish child psychiatrist Raisa Cacciatore recently. She was talking about many things I thought might as well be described as the Law of Attraction in parenting.

The main point she was making was that it is very important to share the feelings with your kids, whether they are toddlers or teenagers.

It is essential to share the moment when your kid is admiring a ladybug… Or share the moment when your teenager is wondering how bad it feels, when they’ve been treated unfairly in a sports team.

When your toddler finds a ladybug, they will showcase it to you very enthusiastically. You can share her or his enthusiasm simply by admiring the ladybug. You can land on your kid’s level by saying something like:

“Oh, it’s so beautiful isn’t it…”

If you respond to your toddler by calling the bug disgusting or even neglecting it altogether, asking your kid hurry on up, you give them the experience of having done something wrong. They’ll end up thinking to themselves:

“Have I done something wrong, because my mom or dad doesn’t like my bug?”

If you give your kid your full attention for their feelings, just for a few seconds, your kid gets the feeling that they are accepted. The moment doesn’t need to last very long. It’s far more important that you are present in your kid’s feeling and give your full attention to them.

It’s the same with a teenager’s girlfriend or boyfriend. It’s absolutely crucially important to share the joyful feeling that your teen is capable to find a friend, with whom she or he can experience love in a new way. By sharing in that feeling you give them your acceptance, not so much to his or her choice of heart, which can change quite soon anyway at that particular age.

As you nurture the root of your teen’s love, that tree of love gets much stronger in later years and will carry many many beautiful fruits in his or her life.

And for you, you will have invested in the finest feeling level of your relationship with your child.

As you both grow older, you will be much more likely to keep sharing those moments.

And to think all it took was a few seconds! Easy, huh?

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Tagged as: dating, Parenting, present moment, raisa cacciatore, teenage